I've said.
You've said it.
I've said it at times when I really meant it. And I've said it at times when it was the right thing to say. I've also said it at times when it was so perfunctory that I didn't even realize I was saying it (much less mean it).
But now... Today... The day before Thanksgiving... I'm saying it in a way that I've never said it before. Today I am in the strange situation of being thankful (& really meaning it!), but knowing at the same time that I have no idea just how thankful I am.
Tomorrow, Jen & I leave for Haiti to see our son for the first time. Ever.
We've seen pictures, & we have friends that have spent some time with him, but we have only seen pictures, & we've never held him. Or heard his voice. Or smelled him. Or seen him look back at us.
It's weird: I know I'm going to be emotional when I walk in Grace Children's Home in Port de Paix, Haiti, & see him for the first time, but something tells me that I'm going to feel things that I've never felt before, nor known I could feel, nor that those feelings even exist.
I wonder if it'll be like seeing Micaiah for the first time... Knowing she was dead already, but feeling a joy that overwhelmed the sorrow of her tragic & untimely death.
Or will it be like seeing Hosanna for the first time.... Feeling as much relief as joy after nine months of agonizing wondering if she would still be alive the next day.
Or will it be like seeing Faith for the first time... Amazed that my capacity to love seemed to increase infinitely as she became a part of our family.
Or will it be like seeing Leili for the first time... Delighted to see her, yet somewhat saddened knowing it would be the last time Jen would be pregnant.
Something tells me this is going to be different beyond my ability to estimate or comprehend.
Unique is probably a better word.
Yes, unique... Just like every other time. (That has to be the most ironic thing I have ever thought, spoken, or heard.)
Wow... I have SO much to be thankful for!
And God to be thankful to.
Thanks.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Time Sure Flies When You're Overwhelmed
I just logged on to see what I wrote in my last post & realized that it had been 8 days since my last post.
WHOA! Where did the time go?!
I've been extra busy lately with some extra responsibilities at the church, but I didn't realize I was THAT busy!!
Now that I'm thinking about it, I remember standing over my desk right before I left this afternoon and clearing off 3 or 4 piles of paperwork from those extra responsibilities. I distinctly remember this thought crossing my mind: "Wow! So that's what the top of my desk looks like!" At one point, I looked over at my monthly calendar & realized it was still on October (I can't believe I didn't even notice until today)!!
It suddenly hit me that fun isn't the only thing that seems to speed up the clock... Being overwhelmed does, too! When you've got far more to do than you can possibly accomplish... When you're fighting an undertow of paperwork that seems to want to suck you under and into the Admin Sea... When you reference your task list just to see how much you've failed to accomplish... Ugh! I gotta quit!!
The one bright spot? When you're having fun, time goes by too quickly... When you're overwhelmed, time can't go by quick enough!
WHOA! Where did the time go?!
I've been extra busy lately with some extra responsibilities at the church, but I didn't realize I was THAT busy!!
Now that I'm thinking about it, I remember standing over my desk right before I left this afternoon and clearing off 3 or 4 piles of paperwork from those extra responsibilities. I distinctly remember this thought crossing my mind: "Wow! So that's what the top of my desk looks like!" At one point, I looked over at my monthly calendar & realized it was still on October (I can't believe I didn't even notice until today)!!
It suddenly hit me that fun isn't the only thing that seems to speed up the clock... Being overwhelmed does, too! When you've got far more to do than you can possibly accomplish... When you're fighting an undertow of paperwork that seems to want to suck you under and into the Admin Sea... When you reference your task list just to see how much you've failed to accomplish... Ugh! I gotta quit!!
The one bright spot? When you're having fun, time goes by too quickly... When you're overwhelmed, time can't go by quick enough!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Takin' the Good with the Bad (Or, why Nyquil tastes so yucky!)
It's an amazing reality that some of the best things in life are the worst.
No, really... Think about it.
Some of the very best things that we experience come at the expense of tremendous suffering and hardship. (I hear every mother shouting "Amen!)
Don't ask me to explain it: I can't. I mean, I could try... But, why? I could give you some over-simplistic, under-doctrinalized theory about the depravity of our fallen, human condition (Oh, look... I just did!!) but who wants to sink their intellectual teeth into that?!
No... Let's just take this bittersweet pill according to the label on the bottle: "Take one tablet daily as needed."
I guess it's this out-of-bad-comes-something-good aspect of life that gave birth to expressions like, "Every cloud has a silver lining" (What?!) and "It'll all be worth it someday." (I think a politician wrote that one!)
All I know is that it's true. And if you & I are going to look back upon our lives with any satisfaction at all, we're going to see a beautiful landscape scarred with the evidence of horrendous experience. It makes me think of Nyquil: it tastes awful, but it sure makes me feel better the next morning!
So... Until Jesus comes & makes everything right again, I guess we're stuck takin' the good with the bad. God is so awesome!
No, really... Think about it.
Some of the very best things that we experience come at the expense of tremendous suffering and hardship. (I hear every mother shouting "Amen!)
Don't ask me to explain it: I can't. I mean, I could try... But, why? I could give you some over-simplistic, under-doctrinalized theory about the depravity of our fallen, human condition (Oh, look... I just did!!) but who wants to sink their intellectual teeth into that?!
No... Let's just take this bittersweet pill according to the label on the bottle: "Take one tablet daily as needed."
I guess it's this out-of-bad-comes-something-good aspect of life that gave birth to expressions like, "Every cloud has a silver lining" (What?!) and "It'll all be worth it someday." (I think a politician wrote that one!)
All I know is that it's true. And if you & I are going to look back upon our lives with any satisfaction at all, we're going to see a beautiful landscape scarred with the evidence of horrendous experience. It makes me think of Nyquil: it tastes awful, but it sure makes me feel better the next morning!
So... Until Jesus comes & makes everything right again, I guess we're stuck takin' the good with the bad. God is so awesome!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Innocent Bystanders & Victims of Opportunity
It never fails!
Every time I start a new series, my wife gets to live it out first... and usually with great frustration & anxiety.
Poor Jen!
She's just minding her own business, walkin' her walk & doin' her thing, and then--all of a sudden--WHAM! She gets hit with my sermon-series topic!
She & I joke (well, I joke... she doesn't find anything funny about it) that I should be the one to have to suffer through the message, not her! She's just an innocent bystander.
The truth is that she's right. Sort of.
Whenever we align ourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, we declare war on those who are enemies of God. That means that we are always a target of the spiritual forces of wickedness in heavenly places.
In war, missions often have primary and secondary targets which are the highest priority. But there are often other viable targets that can be attacked after completion of the primary & secondary ones. These are called "targets of opportunity." For all you N'awlins folks, it's what we call lagniappe (all the normal people in the world call it "bonus" or "gravy").
When we belong to Jesus, the forces of darkness will attack us just because they can. We become "Victims of Opportunity." God allows these attacks for reasons I can't even begin to understand (much less explain!), but I know that in the weathering of them, our faith in Christ grows even stronger. I didn't read that in a textbook, I've lived it! Many times!!
So, the next time you get jumped by some spiritual "boogeyman" while you're minding your own business, just remember that Innocent Bystanders & Victims of Opportunity are both Sons & Daughters of the Most High God who reigns over all!!
Every time I start a new series, my wife gets to live it out first... and usually with great frustration & anxiety.
Poor Jen!
She's just minding her own business, walkin' her walk & doin' her thing, and then--all of a sudden--WHAM! She gets hit with my sermon-series topic!
She & I joke (well, I joke... she doesn't find anything funny about it) that I should be the one to have to suffer through the message, not her! She's just an innocent bystander.
The truth is that she's right. Sort of.
Whenever we align ourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, we declare war on those who are enemies of God. That means that we are always a target of the spiritual forces of wickedness in heavenly places.
In war, missions often have primary and secondary targets which are the highest priority. But there are often other viable targets that can be attacked after completion of the primary & secondary ones. These are called "targets of opportunity." For all you N'awlins folks, it's what we call lagniappe (all the normal people in the world call it "bonus" or "gravy").
When we belong to Jesus, the forces of darkness will attack us just because they can. We become "Victims of Opportunity." God allows these attacks for reasons I can't even begin to understand (much less explain!), but I know that in the weathering of them, our faith in Christ grows even stronger. I didn't read that in a textbook, I've lived it! Many times!!
So, the next time you get jumped by some spiritual "boogeyman" while you're minding your own business, just remember that Innocent Bystanders & Victims of Opportunity are both Sons & Daughters of the Most High God who reigns over all!!
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