A Sea of Hands, a Ray of Hope

Probably the most difficult thing for me in pastoring is not knowing if the things I share really make a difference in people's lives.

Seriously... I didn't give up my hopes, goals, & dreams to flounder in useless mediocrity! The bottom line is that I answered God's call out of obedience, but I never imagined my obedience resulting in failure. Come to think of it, do any of us dream about falling short?

No, when I felt God calling me to forsake my plans for my future for His, I imagined that I would always know a sense of purpose and accomplishment... How could I feel otherwise if I was in the service of the King of kings?

But the road from our dreams to our experience is long, hard, & rough, "paved" by these brutal things called "reality" & "time". As I've stumbled along this road, I've wondered at times if I will EVER have a story to tell. I don't mean that in some, read-my-new-book sense, but more along the lines of what would my story be if there ended up being one. Ultimately, only God knows the answer to that question, but something happened recently that--just for a moment--cracked the seemingly-impenetrable veneer of my temporal perspective & allowed me to see things from an eternal one.

I wanted to encourage people in our church that God was, in fact, moving in our lives. One way that I felt would be effective was be to ask a reflective question about a series or message I had recently preached. So, I started asking questions like, "If this series (or message) has ministered to you in some way, would you just raise your hand?"

The first few times I did this, there was a smattering of people here & there who sheepishly, cautiously slipped their hand about halfway up. I could tell by the look on their face that they wondered what I was up to. Then I would tell everybody to look around & see how God is ministering to people in our church. Without any additional fanfare, I would remark how good God is & continue on with my message.

Three weeks ago, however, something TOTALLY unexpected happened!

I was beginning a new series on prayer, & I began my message with a review of the 4 series I've shared so far in 2009. I then asked everyone to slip up their hand if God had ministered to them at any point this year through any of the messages. It was no different than all the other times I'd asked "The Question"... Or so I thought.

What happened next shocked me... A sea of hands shot into the air! Not timidly as before, but with great confidence as though silently boasting in God! I didn't count, but it looked to me like every single person in the room put their hand up. I was so stunned that I did a double-take. As usual, I asked everyone to look around at what God is doing in our midst, remarked at how good God is, and continued on with my message.

What happened in that split-second cannot be described in words, but I have to try! When I saw that sea of hands, I KNEW that God was moving in our church! I KNEW that if God was touching that many people, that it is only a matter of time until all the things that God has spoken & I have seen in my mind's eye are going to come to pass!

That voice inside my head that tells me how lousy, ineffective, inept, & fruitless my pastoring is was forcibly silenced! The years of its taunting while I fasted & prayed were suddenly sliced off into the sea of irrelevant memories! Its mocking calls & accusations as I battled through heartache, frustration, & pain totally evaporated like the last-heard echo of a shout in the mountainous wilderness!

There, in a sea of hands, I was almost blinded by a ray of hope! Thank you, Jesus!!